Dear ZoeBios,

First, a disclaimer and a comfort before you start to explore the wondrous, colorful world of spilling your heart out to God: if one is not been condemned of having heretical beliefs, one is incapable of speaking nonsense.

Your prayers are a reflection of your beliefs and opinions. Therefore they, as all your opinions are, sacred and above reproach and critique. No reasonable person other than yourself may declare them to be open to discussion unless you so deem. The immunity goes both ways. Because of this, you are free to attend any Christian gathering that does not resemble anything like the heretics of the insincere Roman Catholics or things like that.

It is good to explore all expressions of Sincere Christianity. However, one must also exercise due caution in making sure that the integrity of the faith is maintained by the sincerity of the worshipers. Loud music, hands held high, loud singing, clapping and eyes closed are all good and perfect things to this worthy end. If there is an alter call or hand-raising-while-heads-are-down at the end, so much the better. Is it good to make sure that you’ve accepted Jesus into your heart and truly meant it. One can never be too sure.

Once you have found a church service doing some new and interesting things that are of the Sincere Faith, you may adopt them with whole-heartedness. Some common methods of prayer that you may encounter are the following. Keep in mind that this cannot be a complete list because people all over are using their sacred opinion to come up with true worshipful prayer all the time. In fact, doesn’t that make you feel all warm and fuzzy to know that we can sing Hillsong wherever we go and be understood? Our unity really pleases Him, also known more commonly by You.

Prayer walking is a common type of prayer. To prayer walk, you pick a path, either alone or with a partner and you pray whatever comes to your mind. The purpose of this exercise is to free your mind from the constraints of thinking about what you say and pray as you feel led. A variation of this involves many people loudly doing this so that you can hardly hear what you are saying, much less than critique your neighbor. Prayer walking is sometimes accompanied by asking to pray for people that you happen to meet, the purposes of this might be to seed the atmosphere with human-prayer in order to command God to send a Spirit-led revival. We need to make sure God is not shortchanging us on his promises. He likes to be asked.

More sedate forms also include finding performing the time-honored tradition of stumbling across the will of God as one opens the Bible to a random place with eyes closed and a prayer on the lips or heart and praying that promise or simply the words that appeal to you over and over. Saying it will make it so. Call it and claim it.

Along the vein of freeing your mind is surrendering your heart and opening yourself up to the universe, helpfully encapsulated by a dimly-lit room full of other sincere worshipers doing as described above as they feel led in singing, dancing and just generally being buzzed.

This is all The Spirit has led me to write, I’m off to find some inspirational photos to go with this really good new song I heard on the local Christian radio station.

—Thusiphilis

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