Yes, I actually do, but not for the reason you’re likely thinking.

We’re raised in a culture that plants in us a take-out romance. Ever notice that almost every single Disney/Pixar movie involves a romantic relationship (only Toy Story and The Fox and the Hound come to mind as exceptions)? Boy meets girl, <insert rest of movie>, and at the end of the movie they kiss and live happily ever after. We form a lot of opinions and expectations from this. Don’t believe me? Why do you think we make such a big deal about first kiss(es)? Or how about the idea that kissing marks some sort of magical milestone in a relationship?

I’ve often cited those as reasons that I hate chick flicks: they make girls giddily drunk with fairy-tale exceptions. The perfect guy to appear and sweep them off their feet. What a pile of festering mental trash!

The Deeper Problem

In a Boundless article I recently came across, I’ve finally been able to get at and solidify the deeper objection I have to this attitude: We’re haughtily waiting for the perfect one to come and blow me away, to satisfy me, to carry me into a fairy-tale, effortless relationship where everything I do enraptures the other. I deserve only the perfect one. Doing anything else is (shudder!) settling. Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish. Real marriage requires two real people putting in real effort, energy, work and time. And it’s not always easy going, either.

And chick flicks don’t help with raising people with a commitment to, well, anything.

Above all, when we expect our marriage to fulfill our deepest desires and complete us as only Christ can, that is sign of a much deeper, much more serious problem.

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