I am bankrupt.
There is nothing I can do, nothing I can say, nothing I can build, nothing I can write or think that will come to any lasting impression, any last good, any pure good. My motives are impure and fickle, my actions slow and enthusiastic.
Why do I say this? Because it is only when you realize that when you have nothing meaningful, that you can finally understand what it means to have everything belonging to God. Apart from Him we can do nothing.
As C.S. Lewis puts it, it is like a child asking a father for money to buy him a present. The child owns nothing and though the father is pleased by the son’s motives, the son didn’t 1) create anything, 2) do anything to make the father “owe” the child anything, 3) do anything to “earn” the father’s love. The father already loved the son; he is pleased by (likes) the son’s gesture, but that does nothing to change the father’s love for the son.
With this in mind, when we give up our desires and realize that what we have as of now is of no use, meaning, or staying power, then we have finally died to ourselves, we have crucified our old life to the Cross with Christ.
We have lost our lives and in doing so, found it (Matt 10:9).
Or, in other words, this is what it means to “have been united with [Jesus] in a death like his” (Rom. 6:5).